Who I am

Posted: June 26, 2015 in Author

My name is Tallah Michelle and this is my first blog post.
I am a British and something else (unknown) writer and graphic designer living and working where ever my clients and agents decide.
I was educated in England at a well know, public school, where I learnt many wonderful things, the most important of which is that the world is mad, and everyone in it is either paranoid, schizophrenic, homicidal, genocide or just plain silly and that if it exists, someone somewhere will want to buy and sell it.
After school I went to a wonderful university where intellects are sharpened, and there discovered that a questioning mind is all that is needed to live the life without limits. Later I learnt that even the most hardened hedonist has a limit, a line that cannot be crossed even at the risk of death. But that is for another time.

Having travelled the world around, both clockwise and visa-versa, I realised that it’s not where you live that’s important but whether you can live at peace with yourself.

For those few who have got this far, my writing will hopefully amuse, excite, titillate and inform, and, with luck, promote thought and debate in the mind of the reader.

I do not expect to be considered as right in all things, or even right in some things, so long as I am not wrong in everything.



ass5Quickies- fast urgent, exciting, thrilling sexual encounter, which can spice up a sex life that might have become mundane and boring, because you’ve been together a long time; or it can be because you are in a new relationship and you just can’t keep your hands off one another while you are out of doors. Or as Sally below proves, out of the office…….

“We did it once in an alleyway between a Deli and a florists shop,” confessed Sally, a busy New Yorker, who’d started a relationship with someone in her office. “I don’t know what we were thinking… we weren’t thinking. It was just so exciting to be ravished under a rusting metal stairwell, with water dripping from a broken gutter above and old soggy boxes lying around and probably the odd rat looking on. No, he wasn’t my boyfriend. I was….am already happily married.”

Bad Sally! (see quickie confessions here)

But really folks, workplace adultery is replete with tales of exciting, drop-your-panties quickies, over desks, in cupboards, under desks, in car parks etc. Not much time for the warm-up, just straight to the point. However, it must me remembered that the mind is our biggest erogenous zone and thinking about it will make you wetter and hornier than almost anything.

Common Fantasy
Like a lot of people, I’ve fantasized about having a quickie in strange and different places. It’s like a snack when you are feeling a little peckish – or an entree -a promise of bigger, more prolonged things to come later.
Remember, back when you were starting out on your own great sexual journey? When an exciting fumble in the back of the cinema, behind the bike shed, or at the bottom of the garden out of sight of the house was about all you could manage?
The excitement of those early experiences weren’t only because it was your first or second time; it was because there was the possibility that you might get caught – like being found opening your presents on Christmas Eve, just to have a peak.
Like a short story, as opposed to a novel, a quickie still has to have a beginning, middle and an end. Even in quickie terms, just going for the end is generally unsatisfactory and disappointing.

The Norm
For most of us who have normal sex lives, it can take several hours and sometimes all night to have sex.
W h a t !!!!!
I can hear the gasps of consternation and disbelief from here. Just kidding folks……
In reality, sex can take from five seconds or four hours depending on how slowly you go about it, how prolonged the foreplay and how many changes of position you use. In reality the vast majority of couples take between 10 and 40 minutes.

The mere idea of pre-planning, may seem to take the spontaneity out of the whole thing, when all you all you want to do is rip each others clothes off, so you can get to the good stuff. But believe me, you’ll enjoy it much more if you get yourself into the mood early.
It’s easy for the guys – warm up is usually just a matter of unzipping and checking that the sentry is awake. However boys, there are a few very important things you could do to make the experiences more enjoyable for your partners.
First – learn about your partner’s body. Know where and how she likes her clitoris stroked. Is it gently? Or is it hard? Or both in alternation? Women are not all the same.
Second – the clitoris is not the only trigger a woman has that you can use to send her into the stratosphere. There is the much talked about but lesser known G-spot. Again, find out exactly where it is on your lady. Believe me – she will thank you for it, in ways you can’t even imagine.

For us ladies, it can take a few minutes for the juices to start flowing, especially as we get older. So here are a few tried and trusted tips:
Imagine you are getting dressed to go out with you husband, boyfriend, or even someone else’s husband; a little black dress, long dinner gown, it doesn’t matter – start the ball rolling with a little play around in the enjoyment zone. If you have a dildo or a vibrator get it out of the drawer and put it to work greasing the road. If you don’t possess something made of plastic (get one), then fingers were made for the job. So lube up and play with your friend.

Just imagine your partners face when you arrive downstairs in you best dress and the first thing you do is stroke the front of his trousers and whisper, “I’m wet and I’m not wearing any panties. Want to feel?”
His eyes will dilate, and invariably the answer is going to be, “Ya bet ya!”
Job Done…
Here is an opportunity for quickie number one over the sofa, even before you get out of the house. Lock up the pets or they might need therapy if they see you going at it like wild dogs. There’s a clue there.
All through the evening, he’ll be thinking about your sitting there half naked, and that he’s the only one in the room who knows. Then he’ll recall the quick feel you granted him, the juice from which might still be on the tip of his finger. (or elsewhere).

Move directory to stage three for quickie number two; the men’s room – the stair well – the back of the car….
But, and I can’t stress this enough, be aware of security cameras and laws against indecent exposure. You don’t want to end up on u-tube or in front of a judge.

A friend once confessed, that she and her lover kept a couple of ex-president and his wife rubber masks in the trunk of their car.
Me, I prefer the Batman and Batgirl cowls. The lips are exposed for kissing.

Good places for a quickie

1 – At home:

Over the kitchen sink – While she has her hands in the sink full of dirty dishes. She can be taken from behind, while you imagine that she isn’t your wife or regular partner but a maid or home help you’ve employed.
Over the back of the sofa – while she’s hovering or dusting. Again she isn’t your wife, she’s the cleaner.

2 – Out of the home:

In the back of the cinema – Make sure that the lights have gone down low before you start this. And it would help if she’s already without her underwear. This is where knowing how to massage her clitoris and find her G-spot in the dark will come in handy. Just don’t make too much noise girls. The management often take a dim view of a second sound-track over-riding the official one.

In the car:

Drive-in-movies were invented for this. However, while waiting fore a ferry, or in a long traffic jam, or even while driving down a particularly long, dead-straight road, you can give your lady the finger and she can scream as much as she likes. Then when you spot the best little turn off…… I don’t have to draw you a picture, do I?

Quickies can also be a way for busy hardworking couples to reconnect; especially if they have children to tend to at the end of a long day, and by the time they fall into bed they are just too exhausted to go for the long, involved but ultimately more satisfying love making sessions.

But, and I can’t stress this enough, quickies are not a replacement for an hours intimate loving. You still have to make time now and then to enjoy the whole five course meal.

And finally, and I can’t stress this enough guys (again), quickies are consensual.
Men, they say, think about sex so man times a day I’m surprised they have time for anything else. Whereas their partners, if female, have their minds on high things like, the children and shopping for that perfect dress or what to give he sex thinking man for his dinner.
So gentlemen, when you come home from a long days thinking, and you see your partner standing over a steaming stove, stirring the pot, and you creep up behind her and pull up her skirt, don’t be surprised if she hits you with the hot spoon. Try a few kisses first; some hot dripping words of how much you’ve missed her, and how often you’ve imagined her writhing in passion, as you gave her the loving you’ve saved only for her. You’d be surprised how quickly a woman will put a chair up against the kitchen door and by the time she removes her panties she will probably be just about ready for you to…….again I’m getting carried away and I sure you don’t need pictures.

Readers own stories – (Just a flaviour, many more coming)

Patricia & Adam

“Our sex life was getting a bit drab and boring. Then I read an article about couples who have quickies all the time. Well I followed one of the well described scenarios to the letter and after the initial surprise from my husband – whoosh! Overnight we were back into the swing of things.”

Carol & David

“I find things get more interesting when I start talking dirty to my partner in the car. While he drives I peel of my underwear. I sometimes toss it out of the window. We have a favourite spot a little way out of town, just off the highway, but not too far off. It’s always nicer if there’s a slim chance that some lucky passerby will catch a glimpse as he or she drives by.
Usually there’s the required amount of grunting and groaning as he works in and out of me, but as soon as I start to say a few dirty things out loud his energy levels shot through the roof.”

black-vibratorLike a lot of women who don’t have access to a man with a ten inch cock, who is sufficiently master of his tool to give satisfaction most of the time, I have, over the years, built up a moderate collection of toys, that I invite into my bed to make up for the short-fall in my sex life.

No, I’m not an old spinster who prefers a length of unfeeling plastic, over a length of the real thing, attached to a real man (there’s a double meaning there ladies). I do have a husband, who, once a fortnight or so, comes to bed with a stiff cock and needs somewhere to put it.

Like most couples who’ve been together for a while, the fire that burned white hot during the first years of our relationship, has slowly died down, and is now a fast fading memory, leaving a few glowing embers, barely hot enough to scald.

I did try some other methods of re-igniting the old flame; sexy underwear; stockings and suspenders; early morning wake-up blow-jobs; I even shaved my pussy and walked around naked to see if he’d notice.

Yes, he did notice, but the effect was short lived; fifteen minutes of heavy breathing and he was fast asleep and snoring contentedly. And me….? You guessed it – unfulfilled and annoyed that I’d gone to all that trouble and future discomfort, for so little reward. (It tends to itch when the hair starts to re-grow. But I suppose you already know that)
Anyway, I digress, and perhaps there’s another article that I might write to deal with any or all of the above.

Who needs a dildo?
Need is perhaps not the right word.  Or is it?
Like any fairly competent article writer, I believe in research, and accumulating all the facts before I start. So here are some answers I got when I put it to a few of my more broad-minded friends and a few friends of friends.

Judy:  Well, it’s better than going out and having an affair. Isn’t it?”

Alyson: “I was once in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend while we were at university. He actually sent it to me. He knew how much I loved cock. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust me. He just didn’t trust other guys.”
“Did it keep you faithful?”
“Yes-s-s….mostly. But keep that to yourself. He’s my husband now.”

Helen: “I don’t know what I’d do without my Rabbit? I take him with me everywhere I go. You never knew when that feeling might come on you and you need to satisfy it. Men! Who needs them? Big, smelly creatures that fart under the covers and leave the toilet seat up.”

Eva: “My girlfriend and I have a double ended one. Double the length, double satisfaction. Of course my husband knows about us. He’s just happy that it’s not another man. Men? I ask you…!”

There are several questions that the prospective owner of a dildo (or vibrator) should ask before she enters into a contract to give house room to a plastic lover. Namely; how big (fat or long)? Realistic or plain…? Ribbed or smooth…? Glass or plastic…? Battery or not…? With or without clitoris stimulator…? Rotating…? Segmented…? Beaded…? Black…? White…? Pink…? Yellow…? Orange…? And finally, will it fit in your handbag, and can you get it through customs without you being arrested for carrying an offensive weapon?
See, it’s not as simple as it seems.

But how do you choose a dildo without trying each one out first? Interesting idea… ..
You can’t order and try and then return if it doesn’t fit – or it’s the wrong colour – or the buzzing wakes the bear at your side – or if you love it so much, you are tempted to tip the bear out of bed and out of the house for good. Remember, dildos don’t go out to work and bring home the bacon. Nor will they take you out to dinner. And if you are still childless and broody, then keep the bear.

It’s unfortunately a matter of trial and error. The important thing to remember is that your eyes are often bigger than your vagina.

How often have you been out to an all you can eat buffet and seen a man pile a mountain of food onto his plate, only to find that half the food is still there when his face has turned red, and his belly is about to break his belt?

My advice is to start small; about the length and width of two of your fingers. Or your lovers fingers if you prefer; although he might wonder why you are using that tape measure to measure his digits.
If you don’t think that he’s perfectly fine with you owning and using a dildo, then lie to him. Tell him you thought he needed new gloves. It works. Believe me.

Article by Madeleine Le’Blanc